翟永明 | Zhai Yongming

 

 

中文

 

母亲

 

 

无力到达的地方太多了,脚在疼痛,母亲,你没有

教会我在贪婪的朝霞中染上古老的哀愁。我的心只像你,

 

你是我的母亲,我甚至是你的血液在黎明流出的

血泊中使你惊讶地看到你自己,你使我醒来

 

听到这世界的声音,你让我生下来,你让我与不幸构成

这世界的可怕的双胞胎。多年来,我已记不得今夜的哭声

 

那使你受孕的光芒,来得多么遥远,多么可疑,站在生与死

之间,你的眼睛拥有黑暗而进入脚底的阴影何等沉重

 

在你怀抱之中,我曾露出谜底似的笑容,有谁知道

你让我以童贞方式领悟一切,但我却无动于衷

 

我把这世界当作处女,难道我对着你发出的

爽朗的笑声没有燃烧起足够的夏季吗?没有?

 

我被遗弃在世上,只身一人,太阳的光线悲哀地

笼罩着我,当你俯身世界时是否知道你遗落了什么?

 

岁月把我放在磨子里,让我亲眼看着自己被碾碎

呵,母亲,当我终于变得沉默,你是否为之欣喜

 

没有人知道我是怎样不着边际地爱你,这秘密

来自你的一部分,我的眼睛像两个伤口痛苦地望着你

 

活着为了活着,我自取灭亡,以对抗亘古已久的爱

一块石头被抛弃,直到像骨髓一样风干,这世界

 

有了孤儿,使一切祝福暴露无遗,然而谁最清楚

凡在母亲手上站过的人,终会因诞生而死去

 

English

 

MOTHER

 

 

So many places one cannot reach, my feet ache, Mother. In the ravenous dawn

you never taught me how to be tinged with ancient sorrows.

 

My heart your heart, my blood yours, the pool

at sunrise where you find your own face, amazed.

 

You woke me to the noise of the world,

gave me birth, twin

 

to the world’s misfortune.

So many years I couldn’t recall this night’s sobbing,

 

that ray of light which made you pregnant so far off, its beam uncertain

between life and death, your eyes owning the darkness.

 

How heavy the shadows that pass through our soles,

my smile in your arms an enigma.

 

Who knows how you led me through everything in innocence;

untouched, I still take the world as virginal.

 

Didn’t my bright laughter

set summer afire?

 

Deserted in this world, entirely alone, enfolded

in sad sunlight, when I bent over the world

 

did I know what I had left? Time ground me in its mill

until I saw myself as dust.

 

Oh mother, when at last I’ve grown silent

will you rejoice? My love unspoken,

 

some part of you bears this secret, my eyes

open wounds, staring through your pain.

 

Living for the sake of life, I court my own devastation

against primal love, one stone cast aside,

 

drying like marrow in the wind.

The orphans of this world

 

utterly reveal all blessings,

but who knows best

 

how any raised by mother’s hands

will die at last from birth.

 

trans. © Diana Shi & George O’Connell

 

more by Zhai Yongming

潜水艇的悲伤 | Sad Submarine

玩偶 | Doll

退潮 | Ebb Tide

给我爱情,我就爱他 | Give Me Love, I’ll Love Him

在古代 | In Ancient Days

大梦如戏 | The Big Dream’s a Drama

谎言 | Lies

生命 | Life

壁虎与我 | The Gecko and I

行间距:一首序诗 | Interlinear Space: A Prelude

Winter 2014-15

Vyacheslav Kupriyanov | 维雅·库普里扬诺夫

胡燕青 | Wu Yin-ching

Woodcuts © 王嶷 | Wang Yi