王家新 | Wang Jiaxin

 

 

中文

 

变暗的镜子

 

 

1

热爱树木和石头:道德的最低限度。

 

2

时代在进步,傍晚时分在路边招手的染发女孩也多了起来。为什么你不把车停下?你还有什么可骄傲的?难道你高贵的灵魂真的会比一把她们的梳子更为不朽?

 

3

葡萄酒沉睡在你的头脑里,而忘却的痛苦有时比一枚钉子尖锐。

 

4

终有一天,你会忆起京郊的那家苍蝇乱飞的小餐馆:坐在那里,望着远处希尔顿大饭店顶层的辉煌灯火,你第一次知道了什么叫做对贫苦人类的侮辱。

 

5

机场关闭,暴风雪仍在发疯地填着大海;不是回家,而是一种对话变得更困难了。

 

6

那些已知道在严寒中生活是怎么一回事的人,将从院子里腾出一小块地来,种上他们的向日葵。

 

7

是到了从墙上取下从前女友的画的时候了,但,在新女主人投来的目光中,该把它放在何处呢?

 

8

活到今天,要去信仰是困难的,而不去信仰是可怕的。

 

9

发霉的金黄玉米,烂在地里的庄稼,在绵绵秋雨中坐在门口发楞的老人。为什么你要避开他们眼中的辛酸?为什么你总是羞于在你的诗中诉说人类的徒劳?

 

10

如果一头驴子说它是伟大诗人,你要肃然起敬,因为这是在一个诗的国度。

 

11

当你变老,开始接受儿子眼中那一丝讥讽的眼光,就像在一个等待已久的节日里,却得到一份最不应有的礼物。

 

12

我喜欢听这样的音乐,在大师的演奏中总是响起几声听众的咳嗽:它使我重又在黑暗中坐下。

 

13

不是你老了,而是你的镜子变暗了。

 

14

不是你在变老,而是你独自用餐的时间变长了。

 

15

不是家乡的女人不贞,而是那个在风暴中归来的水手已瞎了多年。

 

16

你每天都在擦拭着房间里的松木地板,是为了和你的永不降临的赤足天使生活在一起?没有天使。在你的墙角上方,一只大蜘蛛下凡。

 

17

早上起来听管风琴,黄昏时听小提琴,晚上听钢琴;而在夜半醒来后,你听到的,是这无边的寂静。

 

18

再一次获得对生活的确信,就像一个在冰雪中用力跺脚的人,在温暖自己后,又大步向更远处的雪走去。

 

19

多年之后重游动物园:她仍一如既往地迷恋于蛇馆,而你想看到的已不再是老虎或天鹅,现在,你走向被孩子们围住的猴山。

 

20

当他像苦役犯一样完成这一生的写作,我想他将走出屋子,对着远方这样喃喃自语地说:孩子,现在,我可以感受到温暖的阳光了,我可以听到从你的花园里传来的你的女儿的笑声了……

 

English

 

DARKENING MIRROR

 

 

1

Loving trees and stones: the root of all ethics.

 

2

The Age advances, and at dusk more girls appear, with tinted hair, beckoning from the roadside. Why not pull over? What have you left to be proud of? Do you really think your noble soul, compared to one of their combs, is more enduring?

 

3

Though the wine lies heavy on your mind, forgotten wounds stab sharper than a spike.

 

4

Someday you’ll recall the little restaurant buzzing with flies on the edge of Beijing: how we sat gazing at the glorious lights of the far-off Hilton, seeing for the first time how humiliation smites the destitute.

 

5

Airport shut down, a blizzard madly filling in the sea; no homecoming, but one kind of dialogue, grown difficult.

 

6

Those who know how to live in deep cold save a plot of earth in the yard to sow sunflowers.

 

7

Time to take down your ex-lover’s painting, but under the eye of the new mistress of the house, where can you put it?

 

8

Having lived from then till now, belief is hard, but disbelief is terror.

 

9

Gold corn mouldering, crops rotting in the field. Old man on the doorstep, staring in the soft autumn rain. What makes you turn from bitter glances? Why are you always ashamed to write poems about fruitless human labor?

 

10

If a donkey claims he’s a Great Poet, you bow solemnly, for this is The Land of Poetry.

 

11

As you grow old, that first thin gleam of scorn in your son’s eyes comes like an undeserved gift on a long awaited holiday.

 

12

This is the music I love, coughs from the audience as the master performs: I resume my seat in darkness.

 

13

It’s not that you’re any older; your mirror’s just grown dim.

 

14

It’s not that you’re any older; dining alone just takes longer.

 

15

It’s not that the hometown girls are loose; just that the sailor back from the storm went blind long ago.

 

16

Daily you polish your room’s pine floor. To prepare for life with a barefoot angel who never appears? There is no angel. From a corner of your ceiling descends a fat spider.

 

17

You arise in the morning and listen to the organ, at dusk the violin, and evening the piano; but awakened at night, you hear unending silence.

 

18

Restoring faith in life is like stamping your feet in winter; warmth returns, then you stride off further in the snow.

 

19

Years since your last trip to the zoo: she’s still drawn to the Hall of Snakes, but as you no longer wish to see tigers or swans, you head straight for Monkey Hill, thronged with children.

 

20

When his lifetime of writing is finished like a term of hard labor, I think he’ll step from the room and look far away, murmuring to himself: Child, now I feel the sun’s warmth, and from your garden hear your daughter’s laughter.

 

trans. © Diana Shi & George O’Connell

 

more by Wang Jiaxin

转变 | Transformation

孤堡札记 | Notes from the Castle of Solitude

田园诗 | Pastoral

晚年的帕斯 | The Last Days of Octavio Paz

八月十七日,雨 | August 17th, Rain

第一场雪 | First Snow

悼亡友 | Mourning a Friend

桔子 | Tangerines

哥特兰的黄昏 | Gotland’s Dusk

Spring 2013

黄灿然 | Huang Canran

Linda Pastan | 琳达·帕斯坦

Images © 莫非 | Mo Fei