寒烟 | Han Yan

 

 

中文

 

七块骨碴

 

 

捧着你被火焰装订成灰烬的孤本

像捧着一块刚刚迸出地心的花岗岩

七十个年轮灼烫的结晶

收藏在这只深褐色的木匣里

等待我用慢慢冷却的髓质的悲凉

细细释读:父亲——

这部无字的大书

 

或许,每个来到世间的生命

最终,都要将这易朽的肉身仅剩的

死神也啃不动的骨头,送入地层深处

与所有骸骨一起,共同加固、支撑

年迈的不堪重负的大地

当这只紧紧依偎着我心跳的木匣

——这只满载我锥心疼痛的小舟

不得不在暮霭沉沉合拢的催迫里

从我声声呼唤、挽留的臂弯解缆

从此漂向茫茫永夜的洪荒……

那一刻,那从血脉深处迸涌的

撕心裂肺的爆发

使我终于撕掉那牢牢粘贴住心扉的

“仪规”的封条

迎着亲友众目睽睽的惊愕

像翻开一本我渴望已久的书籍的封面

我掀开骨灰盒薄薄的盖子

将痉挛的失去知觉的手臂

伸进去——

伸进那堆穿过死亡的炼火

仍保留着你生命惊人温度的

炽白的骨碴和粉末:

索要烈焰焚心的纪念

 

一锹锹急雨般落向墓坑的泥土

落向深不见底——没有回音的夜

我转身,攥紧手中——

七块锋利的骨碴摩擦的磷火

在喧嚣人世的寂寂里穿行

一支被此岸——彼岸

这拉满的弓弦射出的箭镞

在渴念中无望地加速——

为那抹也许我永远无法追上的

那如甘露般,从你嘴角凝固的

深深褶皱里,缓缓沁出的

最后的微笑

 

English

 

SEVEN SHARDS OF BONE

 

 

Only one copy of the flame-bound

book of ash, held in both hands

like a flake of granite sprung from earth’s core,

like scorched quartz, these bones’

seventy annular rings

enshrined in their dark wood box,

awaiting close perusal

when my own sad marrow cools:

father—

big book, wordless.

 

Each life lands in this world,

its rind of flesh so soon decayed,

maybe these bones, sunk deep

with all that death won’t gnaw,

gird up the ancient soil

which cannot bear much more.

This wooden boat, packed with grief’s cargo

and bobbing at my pulse,

shuts tight amid the dusky mist,

slips from my arms, my voice,

drifting toward vast primal night.

In my veins the burst heart

tears its seal of custom,

and shameless I raise the lid

as if turning to a page,

my cramped, numb arm clutching

at the mound of white-blazed

shards and dust,

still warm as life

after death’s cold fire,

to snatch these fragments.

 

Like sudden rain, earth patters down

to the grave’s soundless night.

Clenched in my hands, seven shards

chafe their spectral glow.

I pass silent through this clamorous world,

the last look on his seamed, stiffening face

the arc of an arrow

speeding from one hopeless shore

to the other,

farther than my longest reach.

 

trans. © Diana Shi & George O’Connell

 

more by Han Yan

说话 | Speak

庭院 | Courtyard

白纸在午夜 | White Paper at Midnight

在明亮的屋子里 | In a Bright Room

提炼 | Concoction

秋天的地址 | Autumn Address

死后的信仰 | Faith after Death

缪斯姐妹 | Muse Sisters

遗产 | Legacy

Summer/Fall 2015

Robert Hass | 罗伯特·哈斯

何福仁 | Ho Fuk-yan

Oils & Watercolors © 劉定渝 & 劉天可 | Danny Liu & Tien-Call Liu